- mja, mjo, først og fremst - I CAN HAZ A LIFE. Which is really the reason why there are few updates. Yes. So. Just to post something, really, here's a little something. In nynorsk.

( Ti ting på taket og vel så mange i handa. )

And on the FREAKIN' PHONE NO LESS. I can't believe I just told him like that and he just...took it like that and we laughed and it was slightly awkward but awkward in an ok way and...
It's just. Where does this leave me?

Yes, I know he saw us. And I heard his little noise of surprise and I can't IMAGINE what it was like on the ride home, but.. Oh, God, I feel like I've handled this badly, but if he's really ok with this, that means we're saved. We can keep the lovely, awesome, hilariously great friendship we've got. I can speak to him about this. I can be grown up about this. And it might just leave me in a better place.

Oh, GOD.

I still care so much. But at least I know we're cool.

( Alles venn er ingens venn )

Oh, and I turned 18 yesterday! ^^

And I'm not sure if this is a good thing.

to know you, truly
inside out
to don your skin
without a twinge of doubt



would you dare it
let me wear it



or feel as if you're committing a sin
against yourself
- will you let me in?

I'm turning 18 the 15th, and certain people are basically bullying me into getting my wish list out there for people to read and laugh at.

( Click for the final, damning unveiling of my nerdy self )

Oh. And I want world peace of course.


Will probably edit to add stuff, but now I'm going to the store. To buy newspapers for daddy. WOO! \o/

Mom's well again, she left the hospital today. The doctors still aren't sure what was wrong with her, but they believe it to be some sort of muscle-related seizure. The seizure may be recurring, which is bad.

All in all, I'm drowning in a sense of relief here. And adding to those good news, my day has been great and filled with music and friends.
Also, there are lots of good stuff happening next week; there's a movie to see, some cocoa(rum?) to drink, maths to be done, a test I'm cool with, some drawings to colour and people to have fun and laugh with. And a mother who keeps yelling at me to go to bed or else.

All in all - today, I love my life.

<3

Just when I thought this week couldn't possibly get any worse, my mom fell ill last night. Dad took her to the doctor's this morning, and from there she got sent straight to the hospital. Key word: Emergency room.

I didn't get much sleep last night, and it's been eating away on me all day. So I guess you could say my Chem test could have gone better. Not that it matters now. I've got to attend Orchestra Practise this weekend because we have a big concert on Sunday in the Grieg Hall. Maybe it'll do me good, take my mind off things.

I hate this so much.

Math test going straight to hell => Depressed iBorg. Yep.

I just hope that Friday's chem test will go better. It must. Or else.

In other news, I've finally ordered Russe-stuff. So that's one less thing to worry about...
My pants. Let me show you them:
http://filer.russ.no/static-r32/img/shop/prod/014-1-l.jpg

Now, if only I could fast forward. Because the next couple of months are looking less and less fun. First I had to tell my friends I wouldn't be able to go to London with them, and on top of that, I won't be going to Copenhagen during Autumn holidays. Why? Because the singing coach Liv and I were supposed to visit, is going away. This is incredibly annoying. It's like... one great, big cosmic conspiracy.

Depressed iBorg is depressed!

Yeah.


EDITZ: That didn't work. It's invisible!

This, on the other hand, does.
http://www.google.com/calendar/embed?src=teh_knafre%40hotmail.com&ctz=Europe/Oslo&pvttk=c9a925664cffa7126672187d4025e508

EDITZ 2: I completely forgot about "Talk like a Pirate Day". :/

"But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She wears high heels and I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers"


...this made me lol. And then I stopped and had to go and get some chocolate.




Apparently, I won't be going to London either. This is great. Just wonderful.

There's stuff to do, again. Finding myself sick and tired of drama, having a great weekend to look forward to, there's a pile of homework to do, music to learn, practising to be done, I need to actually go to sleep in the evenings else I'm going to keel over and die, I need to decide a few things and I'm sort of okay with stuff.

Just to remind me that I'm okay with stuff. It's not that much.

Just as things were looking good, something had to upset the balance.
My London-trip is being threatened.

I must suit up and battle this foe. With words and might. And maybe some tears.

( I believe in peace, Bitch. )

All in all...Things are looking up. ^^

FML.



The End.

Hai, it's been a while, hasn't it?

I spent this past weekend in Grieghallen, rehearsing for a concert on Monday, arranged by "Festspillene i Bergen". Friday evening, there was also a party for Tilla - she turned 18, Saturday, Vafa, Tilla and myself had a little "girls' night out", watching Wolverine and being girly. Extremely so! Sunday evening, I dragged Tormod and Iris to Skansemyren where FeMa was playing volleyball. We played ball for a couple of hours, then I went home, ate beef and met up with them at Maren's place, where they were watching "Death Proof". Strange movie.
All in all - I played violin for thirty hours this weekend, counting the concert. Afterwards, Ient home, watched "Rent", cried like a baby and slept.
And of course, no shock there, I awoke SICK.

This is a rather hurried post, I'm going out to shop PANTS. Benne's going to help me, and Sondre will come along at some point... Speaking of Sondre, we ate dinner and went to the movies on Wednesday. ^^
It was really nice... But rather annoying that my nose kept running and he's got a bad cough. Haha, we both sounded like runaways from the hospital, hiding away in the movie theater.

Anywhoo....I'm gone! Go watch "Rent"!!

This day marks the one week-anniversary of my serious case of being stuck in bed. It has been awful. Last Saturday was the end-of-term-concert for L.S. and my throat had decided it felt like being a pain in my arse last Friday. Needless to say, I was in quite a mood throughout the whole ordeal, and though it went completely ok, I am still mad as hell about getting ill. I know it was my fault for having been outside quite a bit recently - the weather has been lovely with sun and wind galore - but still, couldn't my immune system for once stand up and take a beating instead of keeling over at the slightest sign of trouble?

Summa sumarum, I have spent seven days in bed. I have missed five school days, one test and a couple of concerts. And also, it seems, some time. Every day, I have gotten out of bed at about 11.30, blown my nose and tried doing useful stuff, but my head has been in such a state that even attempting some easy subtractions proved too much for my overheated brain. Instead, I have watched movies. And read books. I re-watched Rodriguez's "Planet Terror", saw Tarantino's "Death Proof for the first time, and also watched the documentary "Dixie Chicks - Shut up and sing". I have got rather mixed feelings about the latter two. Still, they rocked my big old woolen socks at the time.
In book news, I have read Ken Follett's "The Pillars of the Earth", Ursula LeGuin's "A Wizard of Earthsea" and P.D.James' "The Murder Room". Loved the first, loved the second and loved the third. "The Pillars..." simply blew me away. When a book of 1 000 pages makes you cry after reading the first 80 pages, you know you are in for a ride. Loved it to bits.
As some people I hound on msn might have noticed, I have also been drawing. My sketch book now includes a laughing mermaid, a wary Japanese Geisha and a rather sexy "Ghost in the shell"-inspired cyborg girl in a catsuit. I have been PRODUCTIVE, YES.

The coming week is going to be hell, and so I have been reading Maths for the last three days. I would love to get a 6 in R1, but I think I have to face reality and aim for a 5. As it is, I am glad I am able to write and think without simultaneously having the contents of an entire Pharmacy in my system.

On a side note, my Easter vacation was spent with skis strapped to my legs. And it was GLORIOUS. Also, "Dollhouse" has become my regular show. Okay, scratch that, my -only- show, as we still don't have a tv. Whoever it is that uploads every episode to Megavideo - I WANT TO HAVE YOUR INTERNET BABIES.

By Janis Ian

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth...

And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say "come dance with me"
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems at seventeen...

A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said: "Pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve"
The rich relationed hometown queen
Marries into what she needs
With a guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly...

So remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
In debitures of quality and dubious integrity
Their small-town eyes will gape at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received at seventeen...

To those of us who knew the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
the world was younger than today
when dreams were all they gave for free
to ugly duckling girls like me...

We all play the game, and when we dare
We cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say: "Come on, dance with me"
And murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me, at seventeen...

I met someone today who played an important part in a period of my life that ended up changing me dramatically before ending abruptly. Seeing him was like being punched in the gut, and I was flooded with feelings I normally manage to ignore. I think about the past, sometimes. Of a couple of specific friendships that were broken, coldly, mercilessly, beyond repair, - and today I found that I still haven't quite managed to move on. It all came bubbling up to the surface when I saw his face again, a face that once ment, if not the world, then a lot to me. In me, there are some angry feelings, but mostly sadness and disappointment... There is also quite a lot of bitterness. I find that I miss what once was, and I hate myself for doing that, as I have so many things to be happy about in the now.
I love my friends, but I believe this...regret I am feeling will always stay with me. Even though I know I could have done nothing differently.